


Sex Mug: Act II (Or The Return of Prank Sinatra)

by cecilia095



Category: New Girl
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-12 11:48:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5665042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cecilia095/pseuds/cecilia095
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two words: Sex Mug. Two more words: Prank Sinatra. Two people, who - please, for the love of God, - need to get their shit together: Nick and Jess.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sex Mug: Act II (Or The Return of Prank Sinatra)

**Author's Note:**

> newgirlystuff on Tumblr received [this](http://newgirlystuff.tumblr.com/post/136808445957/how-fun-would-it-be-if-what-liz-said-about-the-mug) sort-of prompt in her ask, so naturally, I had to.
> 
> In a few interviews, Liz Meriwether mentions the return of the sex mug, and then a prank mid-season that changes everything, so aside from crossing my fingers and hopinghopinghoping for a Nick/Jess reunion, - which, I am, by the way, very much doing! -, I wrote this.
> 
> Let me know if you enjoyed, and feel free to share this story as well. :)

Two words: Sex Mug. Two more words: Prank Sinatra. Two people, who -  _please_ , for the love of God, - need to get their shit together: Nick and Jess.

One day it's just Winston and Nick and Jess in the kitchen. Winston's debating on whether or not to sabotage Schmidt's cereal before he gets up - Cereal Pranks are kind of his specialty, okay? -, and both Jess and Nick are on opposite ends of the kitchen, not looking at each other.

That's a thing these days. Jess is Cece's Maid of H, Nick Schmidt's B.M., but when they're not talking about wedding planning, they're  _not_  talking.

"Um." Winston clears his throat, and Jess looks up from the glass of orange juice she's pouring. "How - How was your date last night, Jess?"

"Brief," she says almost nonchalantly, and then she goes back to pouring herself juice. 

Winston closes the cereal box he's just barely opened and asks, "Why?"

Jess laughs. Is he really trying to continue this? It's 9:30 A.M. and she  _really_  doesn't feel like getting laughed at about falling in love with  _another_  set of parents and not so much their Duds-For-Sons. (That happened. Jess fell in love with these two perfect perfect parents and not their son, and she ended the relationship like: " _Fred, it's not you. It's your parents. No, no, I'm actually in love with_ them _. It's you who I'm not feeling_.").

"I just..." She pauses, takes a breath, and then pushes her bangs off of her forehead. Winston waits as she heads to the fridge to put the orange juice away.

"Lemme get some, Jess," Nick says, and Jess hands the carton over to him without saying a word.

"Maybe ' _The One_ ' doesn't live as close as I thought," she says, mostly to Winston, but kind of not just to him either. Winston won't say anything out loud -  _especially_ not about how red Nick's cheeks are.

"Or maybe ' _The One_ ' is in your very loft, I don't know, you know?" Winston looks around the room with shifty eyes, and Jess just rolls hers. "What? Am I not your type?"

" _I'm_  not  _yours_ ," says Jess, and she's laughing. "I see the way you check out your little cop friend."

Oh, right, that's a thing. Winston is kind of crazily in love with his partner, Aly, so  _that's_  happening. (You know, if she loved him back, it would be. But he's working on it, he is.)

"All I'm saying is, not everyone lucks out the way  _those two_  did." Jess points to Schmidt's closed bedroom door. Cece and Schmidt are kind of obsessed with each other, and when everyone in the loft isn't pretending to be nauseated by it, it's kind of nice.

Winston narrows his eyes, first at Jess, then at Nick, then at Jess, then at Nick, then at... - Furguson, that is  _not_  your water bowl, that's Nick and Jess's two-year-old Sex Mug, and -

 _Oh_.

Basically, what happens next is the cat's fault, but Winston  _might_  have a little something to do with it.

—

Jess goes on a date with, - you guessed it! -, another dud. She collapses onto the couch and Schmidt freaks out because she just landed boobs-first into a giant pile of papers, of  _ideas_ , as Schmidt calls it.

"Ideas which you just  _ruined_ , with your  _boobs_ ," he says dramatically, reaching out both of his arms and swatting Jess away. "Now scram. I have a decision to make regarding three rabbis, and you just  _crushed_  Rabbi Number Two's application with your  _boobs_."

Jess sits up and brushes her hair out of her face and the strand that got in her mouth, too. "You made your rabbis  _apply_?"

"Um. Duh. Be a doll and go get Cece. Tell her it's an emergency." 

"No, absolutely not," Jess says, standing up off of the couch. " _I_  need Cece right now. Did you just go on a date with The Douchiest Bachelor in Los Angeles?"

Schmidt narrows his eyes and tilts his head and then says, "Well... no..."

"Then she's mine!" She stomps into Schmidt's bedroom before he can say another word and says, "Ceec? Are you in here because you're hiding from your insane fiancé? Because I get it, I do."

Cece sits up against the headboard and shoves Schmidt's laptop off of her lap. "If I say 'yes' you won't tell him, right?"

Jess shakes her head and wrinkles her nose, and then sits down right next to Cece, letting out a grunt.

"What happened? Tell me he sucked."

"He  _suuucked_ ," Jess says exaggeratedly, and then she plops her head down on Cece's shoulder and whines a little. "Why do guys suck?"

"Well, because they're  _guys_ , they all suck. You just have to find the one worth putting up with."

Jess bites down on her lip. "And who would that be? Spencer? Paul Genzlinger?  _Nick_? Um... Who else was there, there was - Oh. Ryan?"

"Why'd you say 'Nick' like that?" Cece teases, and Jess defensively shoots up and says, "Like  _what_? I said his name like a normal person says 'Nick'!"

"You keep telling yourself you and Nick weren't meant to work out, but I don't know, what if you were?"

"Ceec. Give up. Everyone else already has."

—

"She's not over Nick, you guys."

Winston visits Cece at work, and Schmidt's already there because he's Part Owner of the bar and he has to do the work Nick is too lazy to do.

Cece slides a beer across the counter to Winston. "I don't know what you're planning to do," she says, "but you're  _the worst_  at pranks. Like. Do I even have to talk about the badger?"

Schmidt laughs from his spot at the counter, looking up from the stack of papers he's sorting through. "Yes, please, let's talk about the badger."

"Let's not," Cece says, shooting a glare in Schmidt's direction. "But wait, okay, why isn't she over Nick and why are  _you_  getting involved?" she asks Winston, who's sort of just sitting there laughing. "What? Are you gonna trap the two of them in an elevator together until they're forced to admit their feelings for - Wait, no, I'm not an accomplice to this; I'm not giving you any ideas."

"You just did," Winston says, and Schmidt laughs in agreement, but then begs him not to screw with any of the building's already-faulty wires. "My prank involves a mug."

"A -  _Oh_ , not the Sex Mug!"

"'Sex Mug', what the hell is a ' _Sex Mug_ '?"

"Schmidt remembers. Cece, you were climbing a mountain. Basically, Nick and Jess used this mug while they were dating, and anytime either one of them left the mug out, it meant  _Nasty Time_."

Cece scrunches her nose. "So we're calling sex 'Nasty Time' now, that's where we're at, Winnie?"

"I have the mug," Winston says after a few seconds, and Cece and Schmidt are both like, "Wait, why do  _you_  have the mug?", and, "EW! RETURN IT  _IMMEDIATELY_ , WINSTON!"

"Too late. Sex Mug? Very much out."

—

Jess tiptoes into the loft because she's pretty sure everyone else is sleeping. She drops her bag in the hallway and toes off her shoes, right there like she always does even though everyone's always like, "WE KEEP TRIPPING OVER YOUR DAMN FLATS, JESSICA!", and - Wait a second.

She crouches down to pick up her bag and squints at the side table in the hallway as she does, because... "Sex Mug?" she whispers to herself. Her heart suddenly starts to beat a lot faster, and  _Hellooo, old friend, long time no se_ _e_ , and - Did  _Nick_  do this?

Jess is about to scoop the mug up in her hands and hide it in the back of her closet where no one will ever look for it again, but this teeny, tiny part of her is dying to race into Nick's bedroom and ask why the hell he put it out here in the first place.

She hears the front door swing open and in a panic she drops the mug right back onto the table and bends down, pretending to fiddle with her knee sock.

"Jess?"

It's Cece and Schmidt, and she's guessing Cece's shift over and they're going to bed, and  _Where the hell is Nick, then_ _?_ , and - "H-Hey, Cece, Schmidt, hey."

Cece rubs her lips together. "Hey. You just get home?"

Jess clears her throat and nervously starts to play with her other sock. "Kind of. You?"

"You  _just_  saw us come in, Jess," Schmidt says snootily, and then he drapes one arm around Cece's shoulder and says, "Well, we're going to bed."

"You do that. Don't stay up doin' it all night, you crazy kids!" She wags a finger at the both of them and prays the lack of light in here makes her cheeks a little less red.

"We'll try not to," Cece jokes, and then she tugs at Schmidt's hand. "C'mon honey.  _Bed_."

"Goodnight," Jess says, giving them a little wave.

Cece and Schmidt turn toward Schmidt's room, until Jess mumbles out a, "W-Wait!"

They both just kind of raise their eyebrows at her, and Cece asks, "You okay, Jess? You didn't do shots with the teachers again tonight, did you? I told you, it's never a fun time after it's done."

"No, it's just - Where are Nick and Winston?"

Cece and Schmidt look concerned.

"Wedding stuff. Only B.M., G1, Maid of H stuff."

"Winston's fighting crime and Nicholas is being a Certified Lazy Piece of Crap in his bedroom. Where else?"

"Got it. Thanks! Goodnight."

Cece tugs Schmidt's hand again and pulls him toward his room, then makes sure Jess is out of range before she asks, "Do you think she saw the mug?"

—

Nick's trying to keep his reggae music down low, because everyone's probably sleeping, but he's  _in the mood_ , okay?

He walked in at 6:00 from the longest shift of his life (thank God Cece took over) and it was just... there. That old Sex Mug hadn't made an appearance since what, May of last year?, and even then nothing came of it. 

But tonight it was just out in the open, right on the side table in the hallway, and Jess must've put it out because she knew  _he_  would've put it out if she didn't. Things are weird, of course, because they're Nick and Jess and they never seem to get anything right when it comes to loving each other, but they do and they always will and Nick has to bite down on his lip to stop from smiling the second he sees it.

Nick freaks out when he hears a knock at his door, and he reaches an arm out to turn the volume on his speaker down. "Come in, Jess," he says confidently, because who else would it be,  _Winston_?

"We need to talk about the Sex Mug," she says, closing the door behind her.

He nods in agreement. "Oh yeah we do."

—

She's in that little pink robe he hates (fine, loves), and he's in just a plain green t-shirt and some flannel pants, so naturally he can't compete, but she's looking at him with these  _eyes_  and he's pretty sure he's looking back at her just the same, and -

"I know you put the mug out, and I just wanted to thank you," she says, and she's backed up against his bedroom door, and  _shit_ , did she just lick her lips?

Nick laughs. "Ha. I know  _you_  put the mug out, and I just wanted to thank  _you_."

Jess raises an eyebrow. "Stop messing with me, Nick. It's fine. I'm glad you did."

"Stop messing with  _me_ , Jess. It's more than fine, it's  _fantastic_. I'm glad  _you_  did."

"What are you saying?" she asks in confusion, shaking her head.

"What are you - Okay, no, wait, I can't mock you on that one. Do you really think I put the mug out?" he asks.

"Do you really think  _I_  put the mug out?" she retorts.

"Um." He laughs, and then he stands up from his bed and walks over to her, and she lets him slide his hands down her forearms without moving an inch. "I  _know_  you put the mug out, and I'm  _thanking you_."

She just narrows her eyes. "Again:  _I'm_  thanking  _you_. So thank you."

"You're not welcome, because you can't thank me, because I didn't put the mug out."

They both pause for a second, and then they exhale, and then Nick just looks at Jess for a second before wordlessly grabbing her by the waist and hoisting her up into his arms.

She lets out a shriek and lets her hands slide around his back. "Is this happening?"

"Thank  _the mug_ , Jessica," he says, and then he leans in and sucks on her top lip. 

"The one I didn't put out?" She's in-between breaths, and now Nick sets her down on his bed, and  _okay_ , is that a -  _Yeah, move that soft pretzel so you can do it, Miller, good_   _idea._

"Jess, can we not play The Blame Game right now? I mean, we're about to - Aren't we?"

Please, for the love of God and Sex Mugs and whatever else, aren't they?

Jess slowly nods, and in the process, she undoes her robe, tossing it onto Nick's floor.

He blinks. "You're wearing nothing underneath that," he points out, and he's kind of just sitting there, and  _wow_ , did she graduate to a Full B?

Jess says nothing, just leans forward and pulls his t-shirt off so seductively it's like she's been practicing. 

"I want you, Nick," she admits, and he's not about to ask her in which way, in which fashion,  _how_ , or  _why_  - especially  _why_.

"Well, yeah, that's why you put the mug out, so."

"DID. NOT. PUT. THE. MUG. O-  _O_ _ooh_ , okay, you're -" She squirms underneath Nick's touch, and he's got her panties balled up in his hand. 

"Jessica, this is happening, because  _that mug_  was on  _that table_ ," he says in frustration and also a little bit of passion, pointing out beyond his door to the living room. "And _you_ put it there."

"You want me to say I put it there so you don't have to admit to putting it there! Say you put it there, Nick."

Nick is too busy leaving his marking on her breasts, sucking at the skin until it's bright red, and Jess is moaning in pleasure underneath him. It's been so long since Nick has touched any part of her body, let alone this part of her body, and  _fuck_ , he's still a good kisser, and he still makes her squirm in bed, and -

"Jessica, I've wanted this since, - Well, since we broke up, but I didn't put the mug out."

Jess's fingernails are digging into his shoulders, and she tries to quiet down her moans even though Nick has two fingers inside of her now, thrusting in and out. "Nick," she says in one heavy breath, "I told you, I'm happy you did, I want this too."

"Jess, we're going to be fighting about this until we  _die_ ," he says through gritted teeth, and God damnit, he's trying to enjoy the way she's losing herself against his fingers, but she's  _so_ frustrating sometimes. "I'm happy  _you_ did. I'm happy you put the mug out."

"Just shut up and keep going," she replies, sitting up and kissing him harder and harder with each thrust. 

"If I make you come, will you tell the truth?"

Jess moans and her hold on Nick's shoulders gets tighter. "I already  _told_ the truth, Miller."

"Don't call me 'Miller' right now, call me Nicholas. It makes me feel sexier, and we're being pretty sexy right now, Jess."

Jess, despite Nick's fingers still inside of her, raises a brow and says, "' _We're being pretty sexy_ '? Ugh. You say the un-sexiest things sometimes, _Miller_."

He pulls his fingers out of her and licks them off, and then puckers his lips. "Yeah, I don't know, that was kind of sexy."

"Well, you're sexy for a liar."

"I DIDN'T PUT THE DAMN MUG OUT!  _YOU_ PUT THE DAMN MUG OUT!"

—

It's 3 A.M. now, and Jess is breathing so heavy she thinks her lungs might be on fire.

Nick laughs and brings a finger up to his lips. "You bit me.  _Hard_."

"You deserved it. For lying about the mug."

Jess is laying next to him, in his bed, a bed she hasn't laid in in almost two years.

He debates on whether or not to trail his fingers through her hair, but after a minute he decides to go for it and hovers over her, running a hand through her bangs. He's not exactly holding her the way she used to let him hold her after sex, but he'll take it, he will.

"What time did you find the mug?" Jess asks.

"Six o'clock," Nick says confidently. "What time did you put it out?"

" _I_ haven't been here all day, and  _I_ didn't put it out, you did. I found it at eleven."

" _I_ was in bed from six to eleven. Ask Schmidt."

"Schmidt wasn't here. He was at the bar with Cece."

"Well, ask Winston, he was here!"

"Wait, he was?" Jess is confused. "Schmidt said he was working."

"He got home from his first tour around five," Nick says, "and then they called him back in for a second tour a little after ten, but no, he was here."

Jess gasps dramatically, and she can't believe Nick isn't getting it the way she just did.

Did they just - They - Jess is naked and Nick is naked and they're in Nick's bed together and they just - 

"WINSTON PUT OUT THE MUG!"

"- WINSTON PUT OUT THE MUG!"

"WE HAD SEX AND NEITHER ONE OF US EVEN PUT OUT THE MUG?"

"WE HAD SEX AND NEITHER ONE OF US EVEN PUT OUT THE MUG."


End file.
